By: Brett Mathiowetz
Throughout our lives, we get exposed to lots of different groups, whether it be family, friends, classes, associations, companies…you get the point. We end up in these groups for many reasons, but much of it boils down to a simple desire that we all share: to belong. We want to feel accepted and loved. Once we join these groups, we learn about each other and the gifts that each person has. We look for ways to contribute using our own gifts—to feel like we are a greater part of this community. Based on gifts, some are called to take on different roles within a community. I most often receive the call to lead.
I made TEC at the age of 16. I was picked on almost mercilessly as a child. I had a very small group of friends, and life always seemed like it had it out for me. Since my parents were leaders in our local TEC community, making a TEC weekend was a huge uplift for me. I met an amazing group of people who helped me discover the real me. I grew tremendously in three days and discovered not only a healthier relationship with myself, but also with God and the Holy Trinity. This was something deeply personal and incredibly healing. I came back a changed person. It was a beautiful experience.
As I spent more times on weekends, I discovered all the things I could offer the people around me. I then helped them see the gifts they had to offer as well. It was the epitome of paying-it-forward. We were building each other up into the people that we were called to be. Then, I heard a call…
Our Diocesan Director of Youth Ministry at the time invited me to a leadership camp. I said yes. Shortly after, an invitation to attend a Diocesan Youth Council discernment process followed. I said yes. I then spent two years serving the youth of our diocese with some incredible people. I learned a lot about being a leader, but I wasn’t completely convinced I was one…yet.
I continued working TEC weekends, giving meditations, directing music, and being an assistant director. All of a sudden, I was being asked to lead an entire weekend. Then it began to sink in: I’m being called to lead. Directing led to being a part of our TEC Council, and then eventually led me to the TEC Conference Leadership Council and the core Leadership Team. It has been an incredible ride that I am humbled and honored to have been called to. I continue to say yes.
This has been a journey that has taken place over 15 years, and it has not always been easy. The biggest challenge I faced was saying yes even when I wanted to say no. I didn’t do that alone. I have and continue to spend lots of time in prayer— discerning a call and deciding whether to say yes or not. I have had some of my best prayerful moments in discernment. It’s a cornerstone of my decision-making.
Often times for me another real challenge to saying yes lies in whether or not I deem myself “worthy” of leading. I am human. I am flawed. I make bad choices. I don’t live up to expectations and then I feel like maybe I shouldn’t be a leader. The most important thing I have learned about leading is that leading is not about me. It’s about what I can unlock in other people. That is what effective leadership looks like. I can be as flawed as anyone else so long as I help those around me to be a better version of their self.
So how do I do that? Pay attention. See what others bring to the table and AFFIRM them. Tell them that you appreciate what they have to offer and how valuable it is. This is a cornerstone of our TEC weekend. It is a part of recognizing the Holy Spirit working in others and helping others to hear their call. This whole concept is born from a very simple word that we use every day: love. To be leaders in our communities, all we have to do is to love. It’s the example that God showed us by sending his Son. It’s the example that Christ showed us by the way He lived and died for us. It’s the leadership that God calls each of us to. We all can do it in our own way. All we have to do is say yes, and I believe that it’s worth saying yes.
