By: Dcn. Levi James (Belleville TEC)
Dcn. Levi is a member of the Belleville TEC community in the Diocese of Belleville, IL. On June 1, 2024, he was ordained to the transitional diaconate.
How can I describe the experience of becoming myself? I was always me, always who God created me to be, but on the day of my ordination I felt that I truly became myself. I fit in my own skin better than I ever thought was possible. It was like learning to ride a bike without the training wheels; having gotten used to the slow and laborious tipping back and forth, I was confronted with a sudden smoothness, speed, and freedom that were previously unimaginable. And then I knew: this is what life is supposed to be like!
Now I know what I was made for, but that doesn’t change the fact that I was also made for each of the steps along the way. Everything happens in its time, and God moves us into a deeper realization of our purpose slowly and by stages. To Him, the 3-year-old’s joy in the tricycle is just as pleasing and complete as the 10-year-old’s joy in the bicycle.
Thinking back to my TEC retreat, I had no idea that I would one day enter the seminary and come out on the other side as a deacon. And now, in a little less than a year, I’ll be a priest. I had no idea what the future would hold, but that was never the point. TEC was one of those many steps along the path of life that encouraged me to go a little deeper in my engagement with God, to take His love, power, and mercy a little more seriously than I did before. I can put it in those terms now, but back then all I could have said was that I enjoyed my retreat. But isn’t that the point? Tricycles, bicycles, retreats, vocations – they’re all meant to be enjoyed, each in their own time and each in their own measure. Each step along the way forms the path, and there’s no need for us to see the end to just get started!
Enjoy the present. Enjoy where God puts you. Go on a retreat! Every circumstance in which we find ourselves works to help us grow more fully into the people God made us to be. TEC comes at a perfect moment in the life of a teenager. It’s a moment of decision, a moment of change, a moment to ditch the training wheels and see what fun it is to experience full participation in our Catholic faith. TEC is an incredible moment, another step along the way: enjoy it! I did.
