By: Fr. Nick Junker (Vocations Director, Diocese of Belleville)
One of the things I learned very early in my priesthood was the importance of presence in ministry. I remember being very nervous before one of the first funerals at which I had to preside. As I pored over each word of the homily I was composing, questions were burning inside me, such as: "Am I going to say the right thing?" In response, a wise priest told me something I really needed to hear and have never forgotten, "They probably won't remember what you said. They will remember that you were there."
Just being there for someone means so much. For a priest, it means perhaps a little more. Priests can be elusive creatures. The declining number of clergy means people naturally are seeing less of them these days. Most people are aware of the demands that are placed upon them. Everyone assumes we're busy and have way too much to do and can only stay a minute because we have somewhere else to be.
I think a priest taking an entire weekend to be present at a TEC retreat communicates something important to the TECites and team. It's saying that this is important. And YOU are important and worthy of my time. This availability invites those sacred moments that often begin with the question, "Hey Father, do you have a minute?"
The die day time for invidual reconciliation is invaluable. It's transformative. I notice a significant change not only in the TECites themselves after they've gone to confession, but in the dynamic of the weekend. There is grace in the sacrament. But there is also grace in the spontaneity of encounter the rest of the weekend provides.
I have this TEC routine where I wear my clerical shirt on "die" day, then dress down on "rise" and "go" day. I want everyone present to see me as a priest hearing confession and to see the Church officially inviting them to experience the forgiveness and mercy Jesus offers in this Sacrament of Healing. I also want them to see me comfortable and "settled in" to communicate availability and invite further conversation.
Those conversations can be about a myriad of different things. Sometimes clarifications are needed concerning Church teaching. Sometimes they are trying to make sense of their relationship with God and the role faith plays in their life. Sometimes they've been hurt and are deeply distressed. And, yes, so often, they just need someone to be there, to listen and to pray with them.
I hope it means something to the TECites to have a priest with them on a TEC. Perhaps they won't remember the Forrest Gump reference in my Metanoia talk, or the exact words that accompany the spiritual comfort or encouragement I may have offered during a side session. My hope is, though, that they will remember that I was there.
